


You Just Got Roger Roger'd

by mooniva



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Anakin Skywalker Needs a Hug, Cato Neimoidia, Crack, Headcanon, Human Disaster Anakin Skywalker, roger roger - Freeform, star wars crack, you just got roger roger'd
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-27
Updated: 2020-01-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:21:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22427767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mooniva/pseuds/mooniva
Summary: In which I listened to a one hour and fifteen minute loop of "You Just Got Roger Roger'd" on youtube and decided to write this beautiful story of Anakin Skywalker who just got roger roger'd
Comments: 8
Kudos: 59





	You Just Got Roger Roger'd

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [You Just Got Roger Roger'd](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/554188) by GraySheep1717. 



> Aka a first attempt at a star wars fic  
> Aka a first attempt at channeling the remarkable greatness that is the weakest troops of the separatists and highkey why they couldn’t do shit  
> Aka a terrible decision  
> Aka what is my life going to be when this one hour (actually one hour 15 min looool) loop ends  
> Aka this is just a free write and if you can’t already tell that means this is a terrible idea because I will literally write everything that comes to my mind and I’m not allowed to delete or change or reorder and oop this is not off to a good start (hi me from the future here to say that this is a lie I occasionally went back and added a word or two rip sue me)  
> Aka yeah let’s just start the fic so we can get this over with

Anakin Skywalker was in hell. Or at least, he was pretty sure, that he’d entered some alternate reality. He was pretty sure that that was the only plausible explanation (he’d already ruled out dreaming by one too many painful pinches). Because there was absolutely no other explanation for why, at this very moment, three B1 battle droids were celebrating outside of his prison cell. Three B1 units. Three. Three of the weakest type of infantry that was an obvious result of the Separatist’s conviction that in a war of such longevity that took place over such a plethora of planets called for as many mindless troops as possible. As many loyal, mindless, disposable soldiers as they could afford. It’s not that Anakin couldn’t see the benefits of such a system- despite the ingenuity and skill that came with the clone troopers, the B1 units required no training period, no rations, and had no self preservational instincts- but until now, until this very moment, he had assumed that the Separatist’s reliance on such weak soldiers would inevitably secure their defeat.

And yet here he was, a fully fledged Jedi knight, taken captive by three of those very same B1 units. 

He’d warned Obi Wan that his plan to infiltrate the Trade Federation in Cato Neimoidia was flawed at best. Certainly, the Separatist hold on such an influential part of their galaxy was worth investigating. Certainly, when he and Ahsoka had abandoned the planet many rotations ago they had let it absolutely fall into Separatist power. But if Anakin had his way, he and a few members of the Jedi Council would have announced their intentions. They would have landed on the planet, under the guise of needing funding for more rations or ships, they would have first tried diplomatic negotiation, giving the traitorous leaders of the Trade Federation a chance to ally themselves with the republic. And if they had persisted in their underhanded deals with the Separatists, Anakin would have had no trouble pursuing more… aggressive tactics. 

But fearing a trap laid by the Separatists, fearing that important members of the Jedi Order would have been taken hostage and used for the Separatist’s purpose, his proposal had been denied. Instead Jedi Master Yoda had endorsed Obi Wan’s far more convoluted plan. 

Only mere hours ago Anakin had split up with his companions, Ahsoka Tano and Obi Wan Kenobi, as they each pursued their own objectives. Ahsoka had been ordered to venture off into the more desolate cities of Cato Neimoidia. Her mission was to try and prod the locals, ones who may not be prospering from the Separatist hold on the planet, to divulge information about who, specifically, the Separatists were working with. Obi Wan’s mission was more align with what Anakin had initially suggested. He was traveling more publicly to some of the more populated cities to meet with heads of the Trade Federation. To give them gifts and treasures from the Jedi Temple’s personal collection in order to attempt to sway their loyalties. It was an expensive but worthwhile investment if he could succeed.

Anakin had been pleased with his own assignment. Unlike his friends, he was to attempt to infiltrate a secret Separatist base on the planet. His goal was to enter the base, undetected, and collect copies of all the files the Separatists were storing at the base, or, at the very least, destroy them. 

Well, he reasoned, at least he’d made it into the base.

He spared a scornful glance over his shoulder at the three B1 battle droids that had, repeatedly for the past hour, been dancing to a short, repetitive tune that they had been singing in a surprisingly successful harmony. To accompany the joyful tune was a mix of complicated choreography that Anakin would have assumed was far beyond the extent of any of the B1 unit’s capabilities. But perhaps these three specific units were somehow vastly superior evolutions of their counterparts. 

At least, that was the only explanation Anakin could give himself as to how they had managed to capture him. 

Everything had been successful in his mission, he had managed the dangerous trek across Cato Neimoidia’s infamous rope bridges above forests of toxic gas. It was one of those bridges that had lead to his downfall. He’d brushed off the warning feelings he had been receiving from the force since he had landed on the planet, continuing along a particularly long, foggy bridge until he’d felt the tenuous rope fall out from under him. He’d barely managed to grab on, saving himself from a fall into the deadly forest, even as the broken rope bridge slammed against the rigged crevice of a Neimoidian-made mountain, before he’d heard the murmuring of the B1 units above him. 

“He’s trapped now. There isn’t anywhere he can go.”

“Do you think they’ll believe that we caught a Jedi?”

“Who cares. If we manage to hold him captive maybe we’ll finally get promoted.”

“Roger roger.”

Anakin scowled at his empty jail cell, his ears ringing from the obnoxious earworm of a melody that the units were still singing. 

Those same B1 units had been prepared as he finally managed to pull himself up to the top of the mountain. Before he even had time to attempt to draw his lightsaber one of the units had shot it out of his hand, another darting after it. They then put him in force-prohibitive handcuffs and hauled him off to this cell. 

“Will you stop singing already?” Anakin finally lost his patience, scowling at the still dancing B1 units. 

“But this is a legendary day, Jedi.” One of the B1 units stopped it’s dancing, walking over to the bars on his cell. “You just got Roger Roger’d.”


End file.
